Poétique Tragédie

I'm going to write this out once. While all the rage and fury run through my head. While the song quotes swirl and while my chest heaves from the pressure.

should've know better when you came around
that you were gonna make me cry

I awoke this morning to rise for work after 3 hours of wrestling with sleep and my thoughts. And all i felt was pain. And anger. And pain. Karma is a bitch. But for it to play out in real life just as it does in the movies, was pure poetic justice. And so typical in my life.

And now i feel no emotion.

ain't that the way it goes...
so it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
just a classic case
a scenario; a tale as old as time

Seemingly, the past meant nothing. That moment defined exactly that. And if there was regret felt, it only leads me on to fuk me up. Why would you regret something if you had nothing to lose? And then you tell me you don't want to lose what we had. Even if we didn't lose it, where could we go?

The smoke in the bar cleared to reveal the image that was simultaneously burning itself into my memory. I couldn't yell. I couldn't cry. Because I owe more to myself than that. And because wasting tears and voice power would be pathetic.

So he was hot? Then go out and take your pick. There are plenty of boys out there who'll gladly be a notch on your belt. But I'm not one of them. I may have been hurt by you, but I won't be played for a fool.

and they say some people change
so I just turned and looked the other way

deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
shouldn't have left your side in the first place
but I thought I'd be cool and you would wait around

And my mind, who was so cautious, isn't going to be playing that 'i told you so' game to my heart. Because it wasn't me that was responsible for this. And no, I technically have no reason to be angry. But I am. And that is why this is being written. Fuk feeling what I should feel. I feel exactly how I do because of what happened.

You feed me with exactly what I want to hear. And exactly the looks I need to see. And this proved to me that I have met my match. Because of how we are is the reason these moments play out so poetically. Tragic perfection at its best. And do I or do I not want this? If I had found out from someone else, you'd never see me again. But because I saw it, Romeo's potion seeps deeper into what we had. And we'll sort this out until we find a resolution. And that's why you respect me.

watching stars without you my soul cries
my heaving heart is full of pain