Belle Vérité
Written: Friday 3:03pm 2nd March 2007
Its been really difficult for me to blog lately. Perhaps its from mixed emotions and thoughts running through my mind that have kept me from expressing anything at all. Ive gone home from work today sick. Sick and tired. And frustrated. I'm really frustrated with the way things are going with many areas of my life right now. I know with time everything will sort itself out, it always does.
There's someone I really like, but I don't know where we stand, and where we are going. And that is no fault of his, well maybe partially. I think my apparent indifference is spurring a whirlwind of disinterest from his part. The thing is, I'm not being indifferent. I'm holding back because I'm reluctant to open up only to realise that I wasn't the only one ‘in it to win it’.
I say this once, I want to give this a shot. And whatever I need to do, without compromising who I am, I will do my best to do. If they believe there may be something there, and that underlying issues may be overcome, then lets do it. If not…
Paulina, Devi and I are moving out together. And its been a humorous and interesting time looking for a place with them. We haven't had much trouble finding places that we all like, and working out budgets and rooms is pretty much a breeze. I cant wait to get out of Park Drive, with Beyonce's line ‘Im not at home in my own home’ ringing very true at the moment. With both mine and Paulina's lives being somewhat displaced at the moment, we have realised how fine we are together.
I changed my voicemail to make my voice sound more masculine. It was oh-so-gay before, now, not-so-gay.
For the past few weeks, I have been calling my Dad pretty much everyday, and its getting a little strange. We speak about shit. Just crappy stuff, general stuff going on in my life, responsibilities, money, Mum, work… Now he thinks I want something from him, and I had to assure him that I didn't want anything, and that I am freaked out about my recent attachment to him just as much as he is. He laughed, in his fatherly way that he does.
Beyonce and Shakira have done a duet? What?
I think I'm going to start packing stuff I don't use. Clean out my desk draws of all the papers Ive collected and never needed. Throw out parts of my life that I don't need. As usual in my cycle of life, a fresh start with a new place… albeit with my sisters furniture.
I want to stop smoking. I want to stop.
Caught myself out thinking lately. But thinking about nothing. Which is becoming a worry. Is my life lacking inspiration so much so that I cant even work out how I'm feeling? Perhaps my life is so devoid of stimulation that Ive become a blob of inability.
Ah, what a whinger eh? Who cares really, I haven't been very complacent at all lately considering everything that has been going on, so one blog entry devoted to everything in my life at the moment, shouldn't be too much of a hindrance right?
Dx.
Its been really difficult for me to blog lately. Perhaps its from mixed emotions and thoughts running through my mind that have kept me from expressing anything at all. Ive gone home from work today sick. Sick and tired. And frustrated. I'm really frustrated with the way things are going with many areas of my life right now. I know with time everything will sort itself out, it always does.
There's someone I really like, but I don't know where we stand, and where we are going. And that is no fault of his, well maybe partially. I think my apparent indifference is spurring a whirlwind of disinterest from his part. The thing is, I'm not being indifferent. I'm holding back because I'm reluctant to open up only to realise that I wasn't the only one ‘in it to win it’.
I say this once, I want to give this a shot. And whatever I need to do, without compromising who I am, I will do my best to do. If they believe there may be something there, and that underlying issues may be overcome, then lets do it. If not…
Paulina, Devi and I are moving out together. And its been a humorous and interesting time looking for a place with them. We haven't had much trouble finding places that we all like, and working out budgets and rooms is pretty much a breeze. I cant wait to get out of Park Drive, with Beyonce's line ‘Im not at home in my own home’ ringing very true at the moment. With both mine and Paulina's lives being somewhat displaced at the moment, we have realised how fine we are together.
I changed my voicemail to make my voice sound more masculine. It was oh-so-gay before, now, not-so-gay.
For the past few weeks, I have been calling my Dad pretty much everyday, and its getting a little strange. We speak about shit. Just crappy stuff, general stuff going on in my life, responsibilities, money, Mum, work… Now he thinks I want something from him, and I had to assure him that I didn't want anything, and that I am freaked out about my recent attachment to him just as much as he is. He laughed, in his fatherly way that he does.
Beyonce and Shakira have done a duet? What?
I think I'm going to start packing stuff I don't use. Clean out my desk draws of all the papers Ive collected and never needed. Throw out parts of my life that I don't need. As usual in my cycle of life, a fresh start with a new place… albeit with my sisters furniture.
I want to stop smoking. I want to stop.
Caught myself out thinking lately. But thinking about nothing. Which is becoming a worry. Is my life lacking inspiration so much so that I cant even work out how I'm feeling? Perhaps my life is so devoid of stimulation that Ive become a blob of inability.
Ah, what a whinger eh? Who cares really, I haven't been very complacent at all lately considering everything that has been going on, so one blog entry devoted to everything in my life at the moment, shouldn't be too much of a hindrance right?
Dx.
posted by Christopher at 11:08 PM
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